The ORDER Project

Hi everyone
The sky looks a bit 'heavy' today - it's not raining but it could - any time soon ! Quite bright all the same. Bit like my thoughts at the moment !
It's Monday already ! - can't believe where the weekend has gone. However, here we are and another week to look forward to. Today, my inspiration for the week is ORDER ( and all things which contribute to it.) This is a strange one but its quite an important subject for me? I've been struggling with trying to get order in my life for decades. Im not quite sure why this is so important but when everything looks chaotic or very untidy, Im paralysed - I literally wander around 'lost'. The chaos seems to turn into a kinesthetic thing and all of a sudden I feel very disturbed, translating into 'inactivity'.
On a practical level, most of my 'disorder' could be sorted by 'chucking' a load of unnecessary 'things' out. I think, my order issue is to do with my home/space being ordered - not 'superficial' but deep into the cupboards and storage. I recognise Im a bit of a control freak - but I like the idea of knowing where everything is and the contents of the house being 'good' to look at and use. 'Form' is key but 'function' needs to be there too. However, there lies the problem - not letting go of certain (unknown) 'things' and wanting to be sure I don't need them. Most of these 'things' Ive forgotten I have or ever had anyway !!! I probably need very few 'things' but certain things would make my existence more enjoyable than not (I think ?). I realise this sounds completely bonkers and some would say I have too much time on my hands !
Ive had several attempts at de-cluttering in the past but it's now got to crisis point and its time for action - hence, my inspiration for the week :ORDER. I've got a few plans about what to do next but am open to changes and new ideas. I know, Im not alone on this one, if I ever mention the 'order' issue to friends, almost without exception everyone has a view on it and most people launch into anecdotal tales on the subject. This makes me feel Im not having some kind of mental breakdown and its OK to be pre occupied with the order thing - to a point !!!
This 'order thing' came to a head over the weekend and it got me wondering about this idea of disorder and almost the 'need' for some people to have order in their lives. I do have friends who seem to cope with much more disorder than me and there must be people who don't care about such things - my kids when quite young were good examples of this. My teenager, although creates lots of mess and rarely tidies things, does prefer a tidy and ordered space (in his bedroom) my younger child of 10 - doesn't care too much and almost likes to be literally surrounded by his treasured things - scattered and in piles ! I hate this mess of course, so spend my much of my time trying to tidy and make order. Maybe, there is a developmental or maturity thing involved ? although my husband (could be described as mature), is very untidy and leaves stuff everywhere but he does like a tidy space too and craves the same order as me (in the bigger picture).
Thinking about all this order stuff also made me think about artistic responses to order and there must be lots of examples out there of great works which look at the order and disorder thing. I have tried to find some examples (didn't spend much time on this ) but could'nt find anything obvious. There are examples such as the Edvard Munch painting of The Scream Here
which is a sort of chaos theme and there must be many other paintings which could be interpreted as such. My own attempts at making art are quite structured activities where I am able to control what I do and undo things I don't like. Im sure lots of artists follow their own structured creative exercises even if the end result looks chaotic - maybe not ? I like the discipline of developing systems (creative or functional) and then adapting or dismissing certain elements of my system. There seems to be no obvious conclusion to my thoughts on the order thing in my world and maybe the order or disorder in artistic works is all to do with creating 'emotions' about the piece ?
This brings me back to my own ORDER issue and my current need to have a very functional response to it. I need to apply myself to sorting and chucking out stuff. I thought I would explore this experience this week with a little creative exercise that will eventually by Friday form a mini journal (and maybe have my artistic answer) which I can record the progress and include any emotional consequences along the way. While Im engaged in the practical sorting, I will have space to think and consider what and how my journal will/can 'be'.
This weeks exercise is so important as without my 'new order', I am not working as I want to. I'm hoping my 'space ordering/cleansing will help with a new creative ordering/cleansing for my work. Each day, I will aim to update on the 'experiment' with some photos and thoughts. Im not looking forward to this 'project' as I know even more chaos is needed before order is possible !
Bye for today.